High Tech Skelly (and Its Big Dog, Too) Is 75 Percent Off at the Home Depot

I know you’ve seen it. The glowing eyes. The gangly frame that should not be able to stand, propped by rods unseen in the dark.

It is Skelly, the Home Depot skeleton—the most fashionable Home Depot product of probably the past decade. If you live in America, this skeleton presides over a yard near you. And newly this year, a smaller, 6.5-foot “Ultra Skelly” is outfitted with motion sensors and motors to make life truly weird—and also act as a strange alarm system against package thieves and hungry opossums.

Anyway, it’s usually well north of $200. But because Halloween is pretty much already happening, Skelly and its entire skeleton brood of giant cat and dog are all 75 percent off.

Which, finally, is a price I’m willing to pay. I have secretly coveted this skeleton and its kin, the comically grim watchmen of American October. But I, like my father before me and his father before him, am a cheapskate about all things but food and drink, and will talk myself out of anything that’s not a) edible b) potable or c) verifiably “a deal.”

Well, here I am, world. This is a deal. Ultra Skelly is $70. The sitting Skelly dog is $63, not $249. The 5-foot-long Skelly cat is a mere $50. Beware the Skelly cat, my friend! The eyes that light, the claws that do nothing in particular!

Availability is, let’s say, scarce. Skelly is already out of stock for delivery from The Home Depot, at least in my zip code: Just the dog and cat can speed their way through the night to join you before Halloween.